Okay, so I fell behind a bit here with a busy week last week, but on Monday Clayton and I went to Ricardo's for lunch. It wasn't a complete wash, but I was definitely disappointed....a face I wear well.
The ambiance was nice, lots of sun and a fountain in the center and there's a very cheap lunch buffet, which I didn't take part in, but I suspect would have been tasty. However, in an effort to eat healthier, I avoided the challenge to put as much food in my face as possible.
The first thing that threw me off was the waitress. She comes to the table and I ask her how she's doing and she says "grateful and thankful", which....ummm...yeah, do I even need to say anything about this? I think it speaks for itself. I will say I was grateful and thankful when she finally brought the damn check, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
I ordered the Pollo Ricardo, which was pretty tasty. Grilled chicken breast in a wine sauce with tomatoes and avocado on top. I swear the menu said it came with rice and beans, but it just had rice and some vegetables along with a mound of pico de gallo. The chicken was good, the rice was pretty tasty, but the vegetables were some of the worst I've ever had if not THE worst. I mean, how do you even mess up broccoli? I didn't think that was possible. Both the broccoli and the carrots tasted like dirty dishwater with a nice metallic finish. Somehow they managed to remove the natural flavor of the vegetable and replace it with the taste of the pot they cooked it in with a splash of restaurant dishwasher. Ugh. It was terrible.
One surprising thing to their credit was they had some of the best french fries I've ever had. Clayton got some with his pulled pork sandwich that I stole and damn were they delicious! Also, there was another oddity in that the first glass of water was great, but the refill was all fluoridated and gross.
My guess is if you stick to the buffet or classic mexican food....with french fries, then this place is okay, but I wasn't very impressed with my meal.
thankful and grateful - 1 shitburger
fluoridated water - 3 shitburgers
terrible vegetables - 5 shitburgers
long wait for the check - 2 shitburgers
Grand total: 11 shitburgers
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Marie Callender's
Today's lunch choice was Marie Calendar's. A family establishment known for their great pies and home style cooking. Well, I don't know much about the famed Ms. Calendar, but what I do know is that I didn't feel that much at home. We came for the pot pies... what we got, was some lame backwoods excuse for a casual lunch with a side of highway robbery. Upon walking in, we both commented how it was freezing! Bam! 3 shitburgers right away! The hostess said she "would be with us in a moment" but then bent down and grabbed two menus and led us to our table... what? Improper conception of the passage of time! 1 shitburger. Our waitress was a straight shooter, and that's how I like them, so at first I wasn't going to give her any shitburgers at all, but perhaps she was hungry for some shitburgers because she definitely earned hers as you will read later. We both ordered water, and the legendary chicken pot pie and, I would like to emphasize this... Specified separate checks. I added a side salad for $1.99 with Italian dressing. The waitress brought my salad out and told me they were out of Italian dressing. BAM! 2 shitburgers... Now, call me crazy... but... It would seem to me that Italian is probably one of the more popular dressings out there, second to ranch maybe. Certainly more popular than Russian, or French, or Swedish. Swedish? I'm sure its out there. For an institutionalized bastion of the Americana of country cooking to be out of Italian dressing is just appalling. On the plus side of things, the waitress kept my water full for the better part of the lunch, which is rare... ever been to Buffalo Wild Wings? Don't get me started. I've based many a boycott of restaurants on simple water refills. Anyways, our meal was served quickly... and that was probably the high point of the entire lunch. The pot pie was really mediocre at best. I mean, from my memory the frozen ones actually taste better, and they are a lot cheaper. This thing came out at $12.50 and was served in a deep dish slightly larger than a soup bowl. The value just wasn't there for me and I think that in itself is worth 3 more shitburgers. After the pot pies we were asked if we wanted desert, we decided to split a piece of coconut cream piefor $4.39. The pie was served in a bowl, and slightly chilled. Now, I have one problem with this. The only time you should serve pie in a bowl is if it is being served Ala' Mode. 1 shitburger for their blatant lack of culinary refinement. Now, the pie itself... besides being overpriced (1 more shitburger) was pretty tasty. However, the more I ate, the less appealing it was; I noticed the taste was kind of slowly dissipating as it came to room temperature. At this point the waitress brought the check, and screwed up her flawless victory. She gave us a single check! Oh no! We had to wait several minutes before she would acknowledge us to come rectify the situation... remember we had specifically asked her for two checks when we ordered and she thanked us for doing so, so its not like she could claim she was hard of hearing or anything. For this, she earned herself 2 shitburgers. The only redeeming factor to this entire lunch was walking out the door and realizing just where we were exactly... Flamingo & Decatur! and that we have hundreds of other options for our next lunch.
Final Score: 13 Shitburgers
Final Score: 13 Shitburgers
Fuck You, Marie!
Today Clayton & I decided to hit up Marie Callender's for chicken pot pies. I mean, the frozen ones are fucking delicious, so I'm thinking the real deal is going to be the shit. With this thought in our minds, we walked down the street to Marie's as Clayton told me how horrible Seven Pounds was.
We walk in & it's absolutely freezing inside, which makes me wish I had thought to bring my jacket. The hostess interrupts our conversation - "I'll be right with you" - we nod - then she says "how many?" and "come right this way". This irritated me as we were in the middle of a conversation and she acted as though she was too busy and we would have to wait and then proceeded to just keep talking brashly in a this obtrusive way. Had she simply started with "how many" we wouldn't have been prompted to expect a wait and therefore found her intrusion annoying. Yes. I know. I'm a master at finding things to complain about. It's a gift.
We're seated in a booth and the waitress quickly comes over. I was pleased to discover that they did in fact have seltzer & lemon, promptly ordering my beverage. The waitress brings our drinks & we're looking over the menu. I wavered for a moment once I had perused the options, 'cause hot damn if that carnitas philly sandwich didn't sound amazing, but we were on a mission. A pot pie mission. A mission that can't just be abandoned, relinquished in a futile hope for some tasty pork product covered in cheese with avocados on top. So we soldiered on.
There are daily specials that come with soup/salad & a slice of pie for 10.99. Apparently yesterday was chicken pot pie day, but today is portabello chicken, which sounds good, but again I refuse to be waylaid by some fancy feast flaunting its delicious sauces. I'mma get me a god damned pot pie!
I find the pot pie on the menu & it comes with absolutely nothing AND it's $12.49. Again, I looked at the carnitas philly sandwich with a flash of yearning, but alas I aimed my focus beams upon the pot pie & ordered it with a furor reserved for the fuhrer. She asked if I wanted a salad or soup, but it would be an additional $2.00 and I was already spending more than I wanted to on lunch, so I passed. I would later regret this for about 10 minutes as I watched Clayton eat his salad and my stomach grumbled, but fortunately the pot pies came out very quickly, which is rare for pot pie at a restaurant....even at home a frozen one takes a good 40-60 minutes to cook.
I quickly dig in and am initially quite pleased with my selection. The crust is fluffy & flaky and everything seems to be going well until I get about 10 bites in and then every bite after that seems to be a little bit saltier than the previous bite. Further, I make the horrifying discovery that there is in fact no crust on the bottom - simply a meager layer of crust atop & NO deliciously-saturated-with-pot-pie-filling-juiciness bottom crust. No pot pie could ever be a true pot pie without said bottom crust. The only time I come close to making an exception is the awesome seafood bisque at The Fireside, which has the raddest delicate, fluffy, pastry crust on top of it - soooo good! However, it is in no way claiming to be a pot pie, but I digress.
By the time I'm half way through the crust I am no longer enjoying the aforementioned pie. It's just salty & bland. Perhaps if there had been more crust, it would've been saved, but I'm not even sure that that would've done the trick. The waitress comes by & asks us if we would like dessert & I think, fuck it - it's Marie Callender's, they've got to have good pies. I ask the waitress to bring the dessert menu. She brings the menu, but it has no prices. I ask how much they are by the slice and she hems and haws for quite a while, finally throwing out anywhere from $3 to 4.39. Clayton doesn't really want pie, but I ask if he'll split a slice with me and he agrees. Coconut cream? Again, he agrees and she goes off to fetch us our pie.
The tasty coconut cream pie is quickly brought to the table. It's good. The crust is flaky - it's a bit overwhelmingly sweet, but that's usually what happens for me once I'm about halfway through a slice of pie, it almost makes me nauseous, but I enjoy it up until that point. The waitress brings the bill, which is all together. We specifically requested separate checks at the beginning of the meal, so it was slightly annoying, but no big deal - we'll just ask her to split it when she comes back. However, she keeps coming back & attending to the guests near us without finding out if we need anything. It ends up taking a good 10-15 minutes to get her to fix the check.
Finally, she comes back with the split checks and leaves us to hunt down our cards. This is when I discover that the pie was $4.39, even though an entire pie would only cost $6.99. Ugh. Seriously? I just spend $18.19, not including tip for a seriously disappointing meal? I could've gone to The Yard House and had really tasty food and soaked up some douche baggery for the same price, but instead I spent it eating mediocre food surrounded by senior citizens. Ultimately, that is why I say, "Fuck you, Marie. Thanks for nothing. Way to take my money and leave me feeling dissatisfied and slightly nauseous."
Now, to break it down utilizing the patented Luxury Lunches rating system: shitburgers. Everything that sucks about an establishment gets a kind of demerit for said suckiness. For instance on this occasion:
Cold restaurant - 1 shitburger
Annoying host - 1 shitburger
$12.49 for a pot pie without sides - 3 shitburgers
No crust on the pot pie - 2 shitburgers
Salty as fuck - 2 shitburgers
$4.39 for one lousy slice of pie - 2 shitburgers
Weirdly brash & annoying waitress - 1 shitburgers
Not splitting the check - 1 shitburger
Taking forever to bring the check - 1 shitburgers
Grand total for Marie Callender's: 14 shitburgers
We walk in & it's absolutely freezing inside, which makes me wish I had thought to bring my jacket. The hostess interrupts our conversation - "I'll be right with you" - we nod - then she says "how many?" and "come right this way". This irritated me as we were in the middle of a conversation and she acted as though she was too busy and we would have to wait and then proceeded to just keep talking brashly in a this obtrusive way. Had she simply started with "how many" we wouldn't have been prompted to expect a wait and therefore found her intrusion annoying. Yes. I know. I'm a master at finding things to complain about. It's a gift.
We're seated in a booth and the waitress quickly comes over. I was pleased to discover that they did in fact have seltzer & lemon, promptly ordering my beverage. The waitress brings our drinks & we're looking over the menu. I wavered for a moment once I had perused the options, 'cause hot damn if that carnitas philly sandwich didn't sound amazing, but we were on a mission. A pot pie mission. A mission that can't just be abandoned, relinquished in a futile hope for some tasty pork product covered in cheese with avocados on top. So we soldiered on.
There are daily specials that come with soup/salad & a slice of pie for 10.99. Apparently yesterday was chicken pot pie day, but today is portabello chicken, which sounds good, but again I refuse to be waylaid by some fancy feast flaunting its delicious sauces. I'mma get me a god damned pot pie!
I find the pot pie on the menu & it comes with absolutely nothing AND it's $12.49. Again, I looked at the carnitas philly sandwich with a flash of yearning, but alas I aimed my focus beams upon the pot pie & ordered it with a furor reserved for the fuhrer. She asked if I wanted a salad or soup, but it would be an additional $2.00 and I was already spending more than I wanted to on lunch, so I passed. I would later regret this for about 10 minutes as I watched Clayton eat his salad and my stomach grumbled, but fortunately the pot pies came out very quickly, which is rare for pot pie at a restaurant....even at home a frozen one takes a good 40-60 minutes to cook.
I quickly dig in and am initially quite pleased with my selection. The crust is fluffy & flaky and everything seems to be going well until I get about 10 bites in and then every bite after that seems to be a little bit saltier than the previous bite. Further, I make the horrifying discovery that there is in fact no crust on the bottom - simply a meager layer of crust atop & NO deliciously-saturated-with-pot-pie-filling-juiciness bottom crust. No pot pie could ever be a true pot pie without said bottom crust. The only time I come close to making an exception is the awesome seafood bisque at The Fireside, which has the raddest delicate, fluffy, pastry crust on top of it - soooo good! However, it is in no way claiming to be a pot pie, but I digress.
By the time I'm half way through the crust I am no longer enjoying the aforementioned pie. It's just salty & bland. Perhaps if there had been more crust, it would've been saved, but I'm not even sure that that would've done the trick. The waitress comes by & asks us if we would like dessert & I think, fuck it - it's Marie Callender's, they've got to have good pies. I ask the waitress to bring the dessert menu. She brings the menu, but it has no prices. I ask how much they are by the slice and she hems and haws for quite a while, finally throwing out anywhere from $3 to 4.39. Clayton doesn't really want pie, but I ask if he'll split a slice with me and he agrees. Coconut cream? Again, he agrees and she goes off to fetch us our pie.
The tasty coconut cream pie is quickly brought to the table. It's good. The crust is flaky - it's a bit overwhelmingly sweet, but that's usually what happens for me once I'm about halfway through a slice of pie, it almost makes me nauseous, but I enjoy it up until that point. The waitress brings the bill, which is all together. We specifically requested separate checks at the beginning of the meal, so it was slightly annoying, but no big deal - we'll just ask her to split it when she comes back. However, she keeps coming back & attending to the guests near us without finding out if we need anything. It ends up taking a good 10-15 minutes to get her to fix the check.
Finally, she comes back with the split checks and leaves us to hunt down our cards. This is when I discover that the pie was $4.39, even though an entire pie would only cost $6.99. Ugh. Seriously? I just spend $18.19, not including tip for a seriously disappointing meal? I could've gone to The Yard House and had really tasty food and soaked up some douche baggery for the same price, but instead I spent it eating mediocre food surrounded by senior citizens. Ultimately, that is why I say, "Fuck you, Marie. Thanks for nothing. Way to take my money and leave me feeling dissatisfied and slightly nauseous."
Now, to break it down utilizing the patented Luxury Lunches rating system: shitburgers. Everything that sucks about an establishment gets a kind of demerit for said suckiness. For instance on this occasion:
Cold restaurant - 1 shitburger
Annoying host - 1 shitburger
$12.49 for a pot pie without sides - 3 shitburgers
No crust on the pot pie - 2 shitburgers
Salty as fuck - 2 shitburgers
$4.39 for one lousy slice of pie - 2 shitburgers
Weirdly brash & annoying waitress - 1 shitburgers
Not splitting the check - 1 shitburger
Taking forever to bring the check - 1 shitburgers
Grand total for Marie Callender's: 14 shitburgers
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